Spanish Class *EMMETT*

[Edward Cullen]

"We ride together, we die together... "Bad boys" for life! [/size]

Edward made his way down the corridor after delivering Bella to her next class, he tried to mute all the other thoughts, "vampires don't get headaches, but i swear to God these damn humans give me migrains, they're as bad as Emmett with his... interesting (?) thoughts. He shuddered at the memories. Speaking of Emmett, he was in the next class with him. Spanish. The only class they were together for, and yet it seemed plenty if not to much. Emmett new exactly how to push Edwards buttons, thinking up stuff that Edward really really really DID NOT want images of.

He walked into the classroom to see Mrs Cape writing something on the chalk board. Edward didn't really pay much attention, having had all the time in the world previous to Bella, so he was fluent in practically every language going. Thats what he liked to call it, like before Christ, and after Christ, it was now before Bella and After Bella. Though he hoped that Jesus had been a tad less clumsey otherwise all belief in God is doomed.

He made his way to the desks at the back of the classroom, Edward took his seat, and to his delight Mike Newton entered just as the bell had rung, resulting in Mrs Cape barking "Newton Detention!". Ah all is right in the world. Though Emmett had still not arrived.
Probably still vacuumed to Rosalie he thought. "Or eating some innocent grizzly. If only he had an aqquired taste for Mike Newton. "That is somethng Edward would love to see.
Just then Emmett walked into the room atleast five minutes after the lesson bell had rung. Yet he merely walked over to Mrs Cape, and Edward pressumed began to innocently flirt with her. Yes Emmett was flirting with a 70 year old prune. But to be honest Emmett and Edward were both older than her. "Told you that boots skin cream worked" He thought to himself, a grin appearing on his face.

Emmett's flirting and apologetic look obviously, as usual worked on Mrs Cape who began to get quite flustered. Emmett turned and walked down the aisle. "Accidently" knocking Mike Newtons desk on the way, scattering his... well everything... everywhere. Edward had to supress a grin.

"Good one bro'" Edward chuckled, to quiet for the humans to hear.

Tag:[/u] Emmett
Notes:A very boring sunday.[/size]

[emmett cullen !]

E M M E T T C U L L E N

There's only two types of people in the world !
The ones that entertain, and the ones that observe ! [/center]

Emmett knew he’d be late for Spanish class but he wasn’t bothered. He had Mrs. Cape wrapped round his little finger. All it took was a little flirting, much like he did with all his other female teachers (The male ones too scared to argue with him). He kissed Rosalie on the cheek and walked off down the corridor. Having a life, unlike Edward, meant Emmett wasn’t quite as fluent in quite as many languages. However all the Cullens could talk quite a few languages (even if some of the languages weren’t spoken fluently they still knew bits off it). Emmett knew that’s what living forever and repeating school did too you. Luckily Spanish was one of his better languages (bar English, then again he sometimes failed at English.)

The corridors where empty so Emmett picked up a run and then skidded down the long, shiny, corridor floor. He came to a halt a few feet before the class room door so he could calmly walk in. The last thing he wanted was to enter and destroy something (because he tended to do that when he got excited and sliding down corridors was exciting) He grinned as he heard Mike Newton get detention before entering the room. He smiled at Mrs. Cape and walked over to her. ”Sorry i’m late Miss.” he said, knowing his voice was smooth and silky (much like most vampires) ’Thats ok Emmett.’ she spoke quickly and he could hear her heart beat quickening. He loved doing this too humans, even seventy year old wrinkly ones. ”Your looking very nice today. Have you had your haircut?” he asked. She nodded quickly (he only knew this because he had heard her talking about getting her hair cut at the weekend last week when he’d passed the teachers’ lounge)

He walked off slowly. He didn’t want to give the poor woman and heart attack; she already had a weak heart, although that would be quite amusing. As he walked towards his desk which he shared with his brother he made sure to “accidently” bump into Mike Newtons. ”BOOYA!!” he thought loudly in his head, knowing Ed would hear. Holding back the laughter as things went flying everywhere he muttered a quick ”oh, sorry Mike, how clumsy of me.” and took his seat next to Edward. He put his hand out under the table for a high 5, well low 5, and grinned.

He heard Mrs. Cape clear her throat and announce too the class today’s lesson plan. She was careful not to look over at Emmett and Edwards’s table but you could see her struggling to fight the urge to look at them. ”My god we are just babe magnets” he couldn’t help but laugh at this but a sharp pressure on his foot made him be quiet. ”your such a pain. PARTY POOPER”. Emmett had been trying to think of entertaining things to do in Spanish class for a while but his mind seemed to be drawing a blank since the glue incident, where he accidently glued Mike Newton too his hair and then glued his hands to the desk, so a small smile appeared on his face when Mrs. Cape announced the class would be re-doing the displays on the walls. His smile grew even wider when she announced himself; Edward and Mike would work on the big display at the back.

”staplers mine.” he thought as Mrs. Cape gave instructions out to them and the rest of the class before telling them to get on with it and she would be around the room if they needed her. He was soon out of his chair and grabbing for the stapler. Almost running too fast but managing to control himself and keep to ‘hyper human speed’ (as it had been called) as he made his way to the board and began removing the old display. Oh this lesson was going to be very entertaining.

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Tag ! Edward
Word Count ! 658
Lyrics ! Britney Spears - Circus
Listening too ! Behind these hazel eyes - Kelly Clarkson
Notes ! Enjoy. Lol.

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[Edward Cullen]

Its Cape. Enid Cape[/size]

”My god we are just babe magnets” Emmett whispered, though it was not audible to the rest of the class Edward didn't want Emmett to miss the next part of what the beautiful Mrs Cape was about to say. By the looks of it Rosalie had some competition. He stiffled a giggle at the image, "big beefy Emmett carrying Mrs Cape, first name Enid... Enid Cape after the wedding over the first door threshold" Edward whispered to Emmett in James Bond style, just loud enough so Emmett could hear. "Poor women would end up going threw the door, i wonder how Esme would feel about ANOTHER broken door... oh and a broken Mrs Cape as well...".

Emmett began to respond when Mrs Cape piped up...
"Class today we are going to be working on decorating the class room again, though this time i'm hoping we can refrain from any incidents in which Mr Newton has to have his hair shaved to remove it from the table!" She gave Emmett and Edward a playful wink.

"SCOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Edward roared, well roared for vampire ears, only the row infront of him... which included Mike Newton would have overheard that remark. Emmett choked on his gum, it always puzzled Edward why Emmett chewed gum, he was a vampire for petesake. Then the answered dawned on him.
"Well she isnt going to trust me with the glue gun, so what else am i gonna' stick in Newtons hair?" Edward about rolled off his seat right then and there.

Mrs Cape, or Eniepie as Edward would now call her was ignoring there charade, about from the odd glance and wink in their direction.
"Now Edward, Emmett and... Mr Newton... you shall be working on the big display at the back!".
Edward chuckled at the thought, and at Emmett's face, "he looked like a kid in a candy store. Edward thought. "though maybe the food analogy isn't a wise idea in the this situation, Minched newton burgers... hmm sounded appitizing," He glanced at Emmett to see if he was thinking along the same lines, but typically no. there was only one thing on Emmetts mind and that was.
"STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER STAPLER!

Ever since they had discovered Esme's antique staple gun Emmett had been fascinated, he'd even took to carrying it around in his back pocket... Until Esme had confiscated it due to Jasper having a staple impaled in his eye. Edward chuckled at the memory.
"Staplers yours Emmett!". Edward made his way to the front of the classroom, where Eniepie taped him on the shoulder.
"Edward dear, if there are any... problems for you and your lovely brother from the Newton child... i shall take care of the matter!" Edward tried his hardest not to burst into fits of giggles. He assured her that him and his "lovely" Brother were perfectly fine, and walked away after assuring her if there was such an issue she would be informed. Emmett had a face like thunder at the back of the classroom, ranting in his mind "What!? him cause us trouble!? Newton burgers are sounding ever more tempting!"

Just then Mike heaved himself out of the desk and wandered over, barely looking at them. Emmett threw some glue at him, catching him on his unawares, it hit his squarely on the jaw. Mikes muscles bunched. He moved, squaring his shoulders towards Edward and Emmett.
Edward heard Emmett's roar of laughed in his head, Edward laughed outloud. He felt Emmett behind him anticpating Newtons next move. But before anything could happen...
Dear Mrs cape was true to her word.
"NEWTON! This is a classroom environment. i will not see you treat ANY of my students with such a lack of regard. Emmett was merely handing you the glue, its your own fault if your to clumsey to catch it! ONCE MORE YOUNG MAN AND YOUR OUT!" She gave Emmett and Edward a quick wink, and a pat on the shoulder, though she couldnt quite reach Emmett's shoulder so she settled with his bicept, which to be honest, she seemed to hold a little longer that necessary.
"You heard it Newton once more and your out!" Edward chuckled, nimbly avoiding Emmett who was sending staples flying everywhere.
"Oh i do love that staple gun!"

Word count: 713
Notes:

[/u]Edmett (celeb name for E+E love eniepie )[/blockquote][/size]

[emmett cullen !]

E M M E T T C U L L E N

It's like you're a drug !
It's like you're a demon I can't face down ! [/center]

He crunched his foot down on Edwards ”Watch it short stuff or they’ll be a staple through your eye and when you don’t go blind or bleed you’ll have some interesting questions to answer” he laughed a bit before firing a staple in Edwards direction to make sure he’d taken Emmett’s warning to heart. He grabbed the glue from Edward and fired it in Mike’s direction. ”Heads up” he shouted, bursting into laughter as it hit him on the head. He watched Mike square his shoulders and squared his back. ”Careful, don’t want to have to hurt you Mikey boy” he whispered in Mike’s ear as Mrs. Cape came over and told mike off. Emmett sniggered to himself.

He felt Mrs. Capes touch dwindle on his arm slightly and winked at her. Holding back the laughter as she almost passed out. ’Sorry bro. Weddings off.. She’d die if i kissed her. Plus i’d hate to get blood on Esme’s broken door’ he thought to his brother, giggling. He turned to the board and started depositing staples in it. Trying to make patterns which just turned into how far away did you have to stand before the staples didn’t stick into the board anymore?

Of course having the attention span off a plank of wood it wasn’t long before he turned and neatly deposited a staple in Edwards shoulder before bursting into laughter as the staple pinged off his hard skin. ’i think it’s about time we stuck something to the Newton boy.’ Emmett thought to Edward grabbing the glue and trying to come up with something interesting that would keep them entertained for the rest of the lesson. Of course that meant about five seconds later Emmett was on the floor in bursts of laughter after managing to stick a small piece of paper to the centre of Edwards forehead.

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Tag ! Edward
Word Count ! 310
Lyrics ! see ’listening too’
Listening too ! Addicted – Kelly Clarkson
Notes ! that sucks a bit, sorry.

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[Edward Cullen]

In loving memory of Dexter-Jaws- always in our hearts x3 [/b]

Edward glared dagers at Emmett, for obvious reasons... the main reason being that Edward now had a gluey head, meaning he would actually have to wash his face with soap. He disliked soap, it smelt funny, he bit a bar once, was coughing up bubbly hairballs for a week. Edward was just debating this fact when he came up with a very interging idea.
"Oi Romeo, get over here!" He said grinning manically. Emmett loved attention from all females, even if it was 70 year old Eniepie, with her trousers round her boobs and elvis style snow white hair. boy oh boy she is a looker.
He was just debating how Bella would take the "Newton burger terroising" session. Though she wasnt a large fan of the Newton boy, she probably would not approve if he lost a limb or vital organ in the process.

He took Emmett to one side, and though they were still near Mike, spoke with incredible speed so Mike wouldn't hear. "Bro, how do you feel about this..." Whispering the plan to Emmett.
Five minutes later and everything was set. The glue was positioned on Mikes chair ready, a nice sloppy patch. Edward had even allowed Emmett to use his trusty staple gun and place some in the glue.
"Right class take your seats!" Mrs Cape barked. Yet again winking at Emmett and Edward. Just as Mike arrived at his seat, Edward "accidently" (alot of accidental things seem to happen to Mike in Spanish class, yet no-one is sure why). Edward just just happened to stumbled into Mike, sending him ricoshading onto the chair, and to Edward and Emmett's delight knocked the desk clean over, sending the contents of Mikes bag, pencil case, and whatever else he had, flying all over the classroom. The best part of the matter was the fact that Mikes mobile landed in Mrs Capes fish tank. Most unfortunatly, landing on, and killing Mrs Cape's beloved goldfish Dexter-Jaws.
Edward could barely control himself at this point, his head on his desk, his face aching from silent laugher, he didn't even dare look at Emmett, who he imagined would be in even more of a state.

Of course what made the matter worse, and nearly unbearably uncontrollable was the fact that Mrs Cape was laying into "the Newton child" as she was now referring to him as, to his face, calling him a murderer and all the names under the spanish sun. For killing her beloved Dexter-Jaws.
"Ah i do love Spanish class!" Edward whispered to Emmett.

Notes:R.I.P DEXTER-JAWS.

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[emmett cullen !]

E M M E T T C U L L E N

R.I.P Dextie-Jaws !
Forever and always in our hearts ! [/center]

”Oi Romeo get over here..”

[/i]

He made his way over to Edward and promptly punched him on the shoulder, a little too hard to be playfully but he was a vampire, ”Jealousy is a sin.” he grinned at his brother before leaning down so Edward could whisper a plan in his ear. Of course as soon as Edward was done whisper in a hyperactive-loon sort of way Emmett quickly grabbed the glue and staple gun to set the plan in action, oh this was going to be far too funny.

As if she could read minds, which was impossible because Edward is the only one with that power, Mrs. Cape called the class to their seats, which set the plan in motion. Emmett gave Mrs. Cape a wink as he walked to his seat, grinning when her heart sped up. (One day she was going to fall over dead). Before he even reached his seat he watched as Mike Newton went flying into the seat of glue of staples, sending his desk and all the contents of his bag and pencil case flying. Keeling over with hysterics he saw Mrs. Capes beloved goldfish get attacked by Mike Newton’s phone.

He couldn’t wait to see how much trouble Mike got into for that one, Emmett and Edward would most defiantly be staying late to consol the teacher after her lose. Watching Newton get owned was worth it though. He managed to make it too his seat and tried desperately to hide his laughter although was failing. ”Me too Bro... Me too” he managed to say between bursts of laughter. ”Wait till they all hear about this...” he laughed. Knowing the whole family would love this story. Well Alice had probably already seen it.

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Tag ! Edward
Word Count ! two-nine-two
Lyrics ! None
Listening too ! My life would suck without – Kelly Clarkson (haha.)
Notes ! God that sucks. Sorry.
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[Edward Cullen]

We're sorry Newton, we never meant to staple youuu, we never meant to make you cry... [8]

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Edward bit down on his knuckles when he heard Emmett.. ”Me too Bro... Me too. Wait till they all hear about this...”

[/colour] He laughed at loud at the reaction he was sure they would receive. He expected a frown from Bella, he was sure she wouldn’t be happy, she’d always loved Mrs. Capes goldfish, so maybe that would change her though.

Mrs. Cape was still laying into “Newton” and by the sounds of things he would be in detention every night for a long while. This caused Edward to giggle even more.
Edward and Emmett had had so much time on there hands previous they had made up a Newton song, a parody of Eminem’s- cleanin’ out my closet, Edward merely changed the ending. Edward began to sing the song under his breathe sure that Emmett would catch on.

"We’re sorry Newton,
We never meant to staple youuuuu. [oooo] [ooo]
We never meant to make you cry,
But today you killed Mrs. Capes Goldfish."[/colour]

This really did not help the situation as this caused Edward to burst into fits of giggles, burying his head in his hands, mirroring Emmett’s already position.

Mrs Cape turned and noticed the situation "Look at that Mr Newton, you incompetence and immoral actions that have led to the death of my beloved Dexter-jaws have deeply effected Emmett and Edward. Is it not enough that you’ve upset me, and stand here claimed that it is not your fault! You have reduced these kind boys to near tears!"[/colour]. Her face had turned from cream to mauve.
It then occurred to Edward they would have to endure this further, as they had Spanish after lunch. A giggle slipped through his lips, yet he disguised as a sniff.
”God bless Mrs Cape!” He whispered to Emmett.

wordcount:301
Tag: Emmett
Eating Chips, cheese, mayo and chilli sauce (L)
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[emmett cullen !]

E M M E T T C U L L E N

We’re sorry Newton !
We never meant to Staple youuuuu ! [/center]

"We’re sorry Newton,
We never meant to staple youuuuu. [oooo] [ooo]
We never meant to make you cry,
But today you killed Mrs. Capes Goldfish."

As soon as his brother started to sing he was joining in. Oh Spanish class was just far too much fun. Well it wasn’t exactly like he needed to take the class; Spanish was one of his better languages. So just being able to goof with his brother without the family there was fun. They knew they’d be some complaints later. Something along the line of behaving and not giving the secret away and to act there age not there shoe size. Although, come to think of it, if they acted there age they’d be sat in some old people’s home barely being able to walk. That, to Emmett, didn’t sound like much fun.

He was bent over the desk, much like Edward. Laughing away but somehow making it sound like a sob when Mrs. Cape’s voice rang out. That just caused more giggles from both the lads. Oh the only thing that would make Spanish class more perfect would be if Jasper was here. ”God Bless Mrs. Cape” came the quiet whisper, through a giggle, from Ed. ”Amen, to that” he managed to reply weakly.

Of course when he caught glimpse of the upside down, floating, goldfish he stop laughing for a few seconds before noticing Mike’s phone in the bottom, then the giggles struck up again before he turned to Edward. ”You know. To make life easier i do feel we should buy Mrs. Cape a new goldfish. Otherwise i don’t think Spanish class will be quite as much fun.” you had to admit he was right. Mrs. Cape was already lecturing the whole class, bar the “sobbing” boys, about how long she’d had her beloved fish and how she wasn’t going to let these fun lessons continue if this destructions and pure murder didn’t stop. Writing from text books didn’t sound like much fun to Emmett, so new goldfish should be the solution.

”Right class, i feel we should clear up this mess that Mike has made and then we should be ready to leave for lunch, although it will be slightly late.”

[/i] Mrs. Cape said. ”Mike, you stay late. I need a word with you”[/i] she added, glaring at Mike before clapping her hands. ”Wait till Mike realizes he’s glued to the seat.” Emmett giggled before continuing the song.

”We’re sorry Newton,
We never meant to staple youuuuu. [oooo] [ooo]
We never meant to make you cry,
But today you killed Mrs. Capes Goldfish."

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Tag ! Edward
Word Count ! four three three
Lyrics ! Newton song.
Listening too ! nothing. TV’s on practically mute in the background though. Desperate housewives i think. God this show went downhill a lot. I knew there was a reason i stopped watching it!!
Notes ! Sorry major muse loss dear. (: xxxx iloveyouuuu
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[Edward Cullen]

"That vile Newton Child, we're sorry NEWTON we never meant to staple youuu

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"You know. To make life easier i do feel we should buy Mrs. Cape a new goldfish. Otherwise i don’t think Spanish class will be quite as much fun.”[/b]. Edward tried to contain himself not daring to glance up at the fish tank, but to little avail. All it took was one glance at Emmett's mind, and there it was. Beloved Dexter Jaws upside down, with Newtons phone sizzling at the bottom of the tank.

Mrs Cape of course reverted to lecturing the class, but Edward liked that idea. Buying her a new goldfish for the following reasons.
1. Mrs Cape would love them even more.
2. The rest of the Cullens might not be as cross if they brought her a new fish.
3. To get Mike Newton into even worse badbooks.

"Right class, i feel we should clear up this mess that Mike has made and then we should be ready to leave for lunch, although it will be slightly late.” Mrs. Cape said. ”Mike, you stay late. I need a word with you”[/colour] Edward cringed chuckling, oh so the dressing down wasn't finished for "Mr Newton" yet!
"Wait till Mike realizes he’s glued to the seat.”[/colour] He heard Emmett whisper. He started chuckling again.
"I think we should stick around for this!"[/colour] Edward whispered to Emmett giggling.

The rest of the class began to move out of their seats, Edward walked up to Mrs Cape wondering if Emmett had composed himself enough to follow.
" Mrs Cape, i realise how distressing this is for you, and we would like to take care and say goodbye to Dexter-Jaws, he mean't alot to all of us, and we realise it may be just to distressing for you to do after this, just leave it to us!"[/colour]
"Oh boys, what would i do without you both. Such lovely fine men, of course you can boys, i know he meant alot to all of you. Here let me find you something[/colour] She wandered over to her desk drawn, Edward looked at Emmett, trying not to laugh. Oh this should be good.
Mrs Cape walked back over handing both boys an identical photo. It was. "Oh god" Edward thought, controlling his giggles. Of Mrs Cape next to the goldfish tank looking proudly at her fish.
"Something to remember him by, i'm glad someone understands how much that beloved Dexter meant to me, and you two. Now if you excuse me, i'll take care of Mr Newton will you take care of Dextie, And boys what i was saying to the rest of the class about punishment, it doesn't apply to you two. You are excellent students and i wouldn't dream of punishing either of you, you are angels"[/colour].
Edward looked at Emmett and winked, ironic much. Angels? She must be a bit disalusioned.

Her eyes holding a last lingering look towards her beloved pet. Edward was sure of one thing. They would definatly have to get DEXTER JAWS II!

word count 468
Listening to Hannah montana in the front room.
Notes: Sorry dear losing my muse also (: ilyyyy xx
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